四人搞笑话剧英语剧本《新梁祝外传》
L:梁山伯 Z:祝英台 M:马文才 旁：旁白
旁：话说梁山伯和祝英台三年前一同来到刚刚成立的武汉新东方书院学习英语。梁山伯酷爱口语师从口语老师邓大付学习美国口语，尤其擅长模仿马丁•路德•金的演讲。(旁白暂停，邓英文“I have a dream ”)。祝英台一心梦想出国，梦想有朝一日成为BBC主持人(旁白暂停，祝英文“this is BBC….)最终祝英台以托福和GRE高分的成绩被哥伦比亚大学录取。在祝英台临走的那一天，梁山伯十八里相送在天河机场与祝英台缠绵告别。
L: Yingtai ，I love you so much and I’ll miss you so much.!
Z: I love you, too! Don’t worry. Shanbo I only love you in this wild world. I’ll marry you as soon as I’m back. Wait for me just for two years. L: I’ll kiss you across the Pacific Ocean.
Z: I’ll kiss you from the other side. Wait for me. BoBo 旁：一周以后，祝英台从美国打来越洋电话。
L: Oh, Sweetie, Yintai I miss you so much, miss you every minute every second. Oh my dear. Are you listening to me?
Z: Listen, Liang Shanbo. I’m calling to tell you that I loved you. But I think you’d better find a better girl. L: What? Pardon? Z: Because I’ll get married.
L: Married ? to who?
Z: To 英俊潇洒风流倜傥玉树临风的Ma Wencai.. He is so handsome. So rich, even richer than Yu Minhong. And he is good at 葵花宝典。I love his money and I love his body.
L: What are you talking about? You wait and see. I’ll give you some color to see see. I’ll kill you! I will kill you in America! Z: America? You can come to America? Hahahaha
旁：祝英台的无端背叛深深伤害了梁山伯脆弱的心灵，他发下毒誓：不杀祝英台誓不为人。于是重新来到新东方书院学习托福和GRE。当然他没有忘记用老生证可以优惠20块钱。为了能飞越重洋去杀掉祝英台，他每天提醒自己有一个梦想。 I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and lives out the true meaning of its creed: We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal. I have a dream that one day I will kill Zhu Yingtai right in America. It is a dream that deeply rooted in my heart. In my heart. 旁：一年之后，梁山伯也来到了美国，四处寻找祝英台的下落。终于在纽约街头找到他当年的爱人祝英台，而她正和马文才卿卿我我。 L: Zhu Yingtai, long time no see, huh? Who am I ? I’m Liang Shanbo. I’m here to kill you.
Z: Liang….shanbo. Oh, Wencai. He is crazy. He will kill me.
M: You! Get out of here. L: You! Get out of here!
M: 电话来了。Hello, I’m in wuhan. Ok ok I’ll come right now Z: Please don’t go. Just stay, please. He’ll kill me. M: I know! But if I stay, he’ll kill me by the way.. Z: You told me you were good at 葵花宝典?
M: Sorry, I’m not good at 葵花宝典. I’m just good at 新华字典。 Z: Oh, you liar. Just get out of here!! (to Liang Shanbo) Oh, darling, you must kill me?
L: Yes, I have to. Because I hate you more than I can say.
Z: (sing)When we were young, we listened to the MP3, you said you’d love me forever. Don’t kill me, ok? Shanbo. I qiu qiu ni..
L: No door! (sing) Where you go, whatever you say, I’ll be right here killing you. I only know I was born to love you or to kill you. Now I can’t love you, the only choice is to kill you.
Z: 曾经Once upon a time, there was a true love in front of me, I didn’t cherish it. If I was to meet him again, I wish to say I love you. If you would ask me how long I would love him, I should say ten thousand years. That man is you The only man I love in this wild world is you. Only you.(sing) L: The only woman I want to kill is on-ly you!!
Z: Please, you know I love you. I love you just like laoshu ai dami. I want to marry you.
L: hehehe Really?
Z: Oh, of course. Please don’t kill me!!!!
L: To kill or not to kill is a question. I don’t know. Who can tell me? I put her life in your hands. Everybody here, please tell me kill or not kill? (to kill)
L: You hear this. I ‘m sorry. But don’t worry , I’ll go to heaven together with you.
Z: All right kill me, then we’ll become two butterflies in the beautiful garden(sing) (sing)
Z: 亲爱的你别杀我，杀了我你也没有好结果 L：亲爱的我也不想杀 可是大家非得要我杀
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